


Victory Is Mine!

by LittleRedFlowers



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: AU-ish i guess?, Humor, M/M, Romance, There is no angst in this, This is just plain crack, Too much angst in this fandom, like guuuuurl yall are just ripping my heart out with all the angst ok, like seriously, pranks pranks pranks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2015-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-24 11:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2580584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRedFlowers/pseuds/LittleRedFlowers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a serious war between Asami and Akihito.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! My exams are ending in two days which means that I will have a lot of time to update. Please take note that characters are OOC. While i will try my best to not write them in a way that they will be out of character, I make no promises.
> 
> Also, I do not own any of these characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language. If there are any mistakes, please inform me. [This is an un-beta chapter.]

The sun was shining brightly in the afternoon sky and the streets are busy with people. But that's not what's relevant, is it? No, it isn't. Kirishima's mood was gloomy despite the nice weather, a frown on his face as he stares at the calendar on his desk.

It's _that_ time of the year again.

He sighed. _When is this ever going to end?_ He thought grumpily. Kirishima then pushed the button on the telecom, and requested for Suoh to come to his office.

___

[In Asami's Office]

"You bastard! Just who do you think you are? Who the hell gave you the permission to take my pocky!" A yell can be heard echoing throughout the empty hallway from Asami's office.

"Give them back to me!" Akihito stomped his feet and kicked at the huge mahogany desk in front of him.

"Akihito, have you forgotten what time of the year it is?" Asami chuckled as he watched his (awfully) young lover kick up a fuss about his missing strawberry pocky.

"What the hell are you talking ab-" Akihito started before remembering the event that happens annually.

Akihito paused, organizing his thoughts before speaking, "is that the best you can do, old man?" He laughed.

"I expected so much more from you." Akihito made a disapproving noise at the older man, watching Asami's eyes darken.

"This is just the start, you brat."

"Whatever you say, pervert. I'm so winning this year!"

"You think you can win me? Don't be foolish, Akihito. You know that's not possible." Asami laughed.

_Damnit, his laughter! Stop it, Akihito! Now isn't the time for this!_ Akihito scolded himself mentally.

"Just give up now if you know what's best for you."

"Are you looking down on me? Oh, it's on, old man! Just you wait and see, you stupid pervert!" Akihito waved his fist at his lover.

___

It's _that_ time of the year again. Nobody is safe when it starts.

Suoh walked briskly towards Kirishima's office. Without knocking, he burst into the room.  _"It has officially started!"_

"Kazumi, we don't have enough time to warn all the employees properly. Quick, send out a mass e-mail to every department! Including the janitors!"

Suoh fumbled with his phone, his breaths getting heavy as he mumbled insanely to himself. "So not ready, so not ready. I did not sign up for this!"

"Kazumi, focus!" It's not like Kirishima is any better. But instead of panicking, it's best to send a warning to everyone to avoid the same incident from happening again.

(That employee was never the same ever again..)

"I'm not paid enough for this." Suoh grumbled, finally pressing the 'send' button.

"At least they make sure to avoid us. Hopefully we'll be just as lucky this year."

_It's that time of the year again._

_When Takaba Akihito and Asami Ryuichi have their annual war._

 

__

_Omake_

A yell could be heard throughout the entire building on the morning of the fourth day of The AAPW (Akihito&Asami's PrankWar).

On the twenty-ninth level, just one level below Asami's office, a ceramic mug was thrown across the office(along with a box of supposedly chocopie), hitting a wall before shattering into pieces. Amongst the broken pieces of ceramic,spilled coffee and the box of sweets was a rubber cockroach.

The man that threw the mug and the box huddled against the wall on the other side of the office from where the rubber cockroach was and attempting to clean his tongue with tissue.

"What happened?" Kirishima came running down the hallway with Suoh closely behind him.

"C-cockroach.. coffee.. I'm gonna die!" The man began screaming.

Suoh whispered into Kirishima's ears, "it's fake. I think this is part of Takaba-Sama's plans."

Kirishima sighed and fought the urge to rub his temples. _Seriously?_

Ever since that day, the man avoids coffee, sweets and ceramic mugs like a plague.

He also avoids the office's breakroom.

(Kirishima had tried to explain to him that the cockroach was fake. It obviously did not work.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of these characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language. If there are any mistakes, please inform me. [This is an un-beta chapter.]

Chapter 2

* * *

 The week was quiet, and if Kirishima didn’t know better, he would think that it wasn’t time for the war (which he hates, by the way). _This is just the calm before the storm, Kirishima. Don’t let your guard down._ Kirishima had to constantly remind himself that. His train of thoughts was broken by the voice that came through the telecom.

 “Kirishima, where is Akihito?” Asami’s voice came through the telecom.

 “According to his guards, he’s at the supermarket.”

 Asami hmm-ed and hung up.

  _Rude._ Kirishima thought as he stared at the phone. 

* * *

 

 Akihito heaved the bags of groceries back to the penthouse.

 He quickly brought several bags of it to his room and hid everything before going to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

  _Tonight is the night._ Akihito thought as he smirked.

Akihito was so caught up with cooking and planning evil genius ideas that he didn’t hear the front door open, nor did he hear the footsteps across the wooden floor.

 “What’s on your mind, brat?” Asami came up behind him, wrapped his muscled arms around the younger man’s slender waist.

Akihito will deny to his _death_ that he did not scream (okay, maybe he did. But it was a _manly_ scream!).

 “Are you trying to give a heartattack and kill before I turn thirty?” Akihito whined, turned and whacked the man on the chest with his spatula.

 Asami chuckled, “no, seriously. What are you thinking about?”

 “How to expose your criminal ass.” Akihito grumbled before saying “wash the damn spatula, asshole.” He thrust the spatula towards the older man.

 “You’re lucky I like your ass enough to let you order me around.”

* * *

 

 

It was now midnight. Akihito had informed his lover that he would going out for an hour, maybe five, and told him to not wait up for him.

 (Asshole smirked and told him to not think too highly of himself. Such a bastard.)

 Akihito carried his bag where all the groceries he had hide was in and made his way to the car park. The good thing about your lover being filthy rich is that he has a whole area of parking to himself.

Akihito walked towards the limousine and unloaded the contents in his bag. Boxes of plastic film, sticky notes, two empty cans and a few screws and bolts fell out. Akihito rolled up his sleeves and went to work.

He started with the cans. Akihito put the bolts and screws into the two empty cans and taped them shut. He then open the limousine door (how he stole the keys, nobody knows), open the glove compartment and taped one of the cans at the top of it. Next, he crawled to the backseat and taped the other can under the driver’s seat.

After he was done with the cans, he begun to wrap the entire limousine with cling film. It took awhile to wrap the entire car and he was afraid that he wouldn’t have enough to go over it. Once he was done with wrapping the car, he opened the packets of colorful stick notes. That was probably fifty packets, maybe more.

Akihito covered the windshield with pink sticky notes, the rear windshield with blue, the driver’s side with green (it’s Suoh’s favorite color, surprisingly), the passenger’s side with yellow. He also covered the left side of the backseat with pink sticky notes and the right side with orange.

“Hmm… something isn’t right.” Akihito thought hard as he stared at his masterpiece in front of him.

“The wheels! Of course!”

Sadly, he was running out of colors and sticky notes so he had no choice but to put random colors on the wheels. 

After he was done decorating the limousine with sticky notes, he took out a black marker and wrote ‘PERVERT’ across the pinky sticky notes (at the windshield), and ‘BASTARD’ and the left side of the backseat since his lover favors that side.

Akihito took a step back, took a look at his masterpiece and gave himself a pat on the back. _You did a good job, Akihito. Better take a photo of this!_ Akihito snapped a few photos of the newly decorated limousine, got rid of all the evidence and went back to the penthouse.

That night, he slept with a huge smile of his face while lying in Asami’s embrace.

* * *

 

 The next morning when Asami reached the car park with his subordinates behind him, he stopped at the sight of the limousine. He could hear Kirishima gasp behind him.

_Huh, Akihito did an unexpectedly good job this time._ Asami mused as he watch his two most trusted guards sigh and try to get rid of as many sticky notes as possible.

 “He covered my side with green!” It was _so_ unusual to hear his stoic guard chirp so cheerfully. Well, it shouldn’t be surprising considering how much that man loves green.

“There’s cling film beneath the sticky notes! Ugh!” Kirishima was _this_ to bashing his head against the wall.

“Take your time, boys. We don’t have urgent matters today, anyway.” Asami continued to mused.

Kirishima was picking at the cling film and trying to tear it away. _This is going to take forever_. Kirishima sighed.

And after few hours of unwrapping and getting rid of sticky notes, the limousine was finally free! 

“Asami-Sama, we’re ready to go.” Kirishima informed his boss who was sitting on a chair that was brought down at his request.

All three of them go into the limousine and drove off.

“Suoh, what’s that sound?” Asami asked from the back of the limousine.

“I’m not too sure, Asami-Sama. I just got the car checked yesterday, and it was perfectly fine. 

Every time the car brakes and goes over a bump, there was always this rattling sound. 

“Suoh, stop the ca-“ Before he could finish his sentence, the limousine went over a bump and the can that Akihito taped under the driver’s seat fell off and rolled towards Asami.

Asami picked it up, “I think I found our problem.” 

“Kirishima, check around your side if there’s a can with… bolts and screws in them.” Asami had to give Akihito this. The boy sure is creative and foolish enough to do this.

  _It’s my turn next._

 The man smirked.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would like to contribute to prank ideas, please feel free.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of these characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language. If there are any mistakes, please inform me. [This is an un-beta chapter.]

Chapter 3

* * *

 Because it was prank war month, Akihito was more than cautious about his surroundings. Especially since Asami was the kind of guy that would attack you the moment you let your guard down.

Akihito was finally home after a long day of work. It was bad enough having to listen to his supervisors nag at him about not doing a good job. Then he had to listen to models complain and refuse to cooperate with him. To make his day even lousier, Akihito was supposed to follow (more like stalk) this politician that went missing. There goes the few extra hundred bucks he could have earned.

The first thing he did when he got home was head towards the refrigerator. He took out a carton of orange juice and the homemade caramel apples he made the day before. He then carried the tray of caramel apples, his precious orange juice and his favourite mug to the living room.

He took off his shirt and jeans and toss them aside.

With only his boxers on, Akihito turned on the television to his favourite channel and got himself comfortable on the sofa.

_Why does the carton feel heavier today?_ Akihito thought to himself. _Maybe I'm just tired. Yeah, that should be it!_

He held his precious caramel apple in one hand and the orange juice in the other. With his eyes trained on the program playing in front of him, he took a huge bite of the apple.

Akihitio hacked and spitted the apple out.

"Why is my apple an onion?!" He yelled as he threw the 'apple' back onto the tray.

"Ew! Gross!" The taste of raw onions made Akihito want to cry and puke.

Immediately, he reached for the orange juice and swallowed a mouthful of it before spitting it out.

"Is this Mac and Cheese powder?!"

Unaware of the tiny spy camera by the television, Akihito continued to rant and curse at Asami.

"When you get home, you're so dead!" Akihito yelled, waving his fist.

"I will take my revenge, asshole! Just you wait and see!" He yelled and his fist still up in the air.

* * *

 Meanwhile, at Sion, Asami watched his lover's reaction to his little prank. He knew Akihito that hates Onions, so when his lover made caramel apples, he knew it was time for him to attack.

He grinned as he watch Akihito bite into the onion and drink the supposedly 'orange juice'. To Asami, watching Akihito get pissed off was one of the best pastimes (the other being fucking him). Seeing him rage about someone messing around with his food and giving him onions is definitely the highlight of his day.

Getting the caramel apples changed to onions and the orange juice changed to Mac and Cheese wasn't hard at all. Considering how Akihito is always out and about chasing criminals and whatnots, Asami had plenty of time to set up his prank. He had called Kirishima the same night Akihito made the caramel apples to get him some caramel onions. He poured out the entire carton of orange juice (it's in a jug in Kirishima's refrigerator) and poured in the powdered cheese.

It was a successful prank if he could say so himself.

"When you get home, you're so dead!"

"I will take my revenge, asshole! Just you wait and see!"

_Home, Akihito calls the penthouse home._ While it was amusing to see Akihito pout and rant, it brings Asami happiness (not that he will admit it to anyone) that Akihito thinks of the penthouse as home. It makes him feel that their relationship is honest-to-God real. (Asami is like an insecure teenage girl).

* * *

 Kirishima sighed as he sit in front of Suoh.

"This is just the second week. Who do you think won this around?" Kirishima asked.

"Definitely Takaba-kun. It is the first time we got fooled by him."

Kirishima hmm-ed and put a mark under the Takaba Akihito column.

"That is true. It's rare that he manage to trick us." "The boy is getting smarter. Think he is spending too much time with us?"

Kirishima snorted. "Doesn't matter as long no lives are in danger when they play their pranks."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the short chapter. I have been extremely busy with work and school and now I'm feeling the pressure of my results that I have yet to even collect. I will try my best to make the chapters to come longer.
> 
> If anyone would like to contribute to prank ideas, please feel free to do so!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I do not own any of the characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language, if there are any mistakes, please let me know. [This in an un-beta chapter.]

It was a Thursday evening when Akihito walked out of a gorcery store armed with bags of little 'toys' he would be needing to prank Asami.

He would need to hurry home, make dinner, pretend that everything is alright and then rush out after Asami is asleep to set up his prank. Just thinking about his agenda made him sick but he refuse to bow down to his lover.

Akihito had a very detailed plan, he was totally going to drug Asami with a few sleeping pills before he runs out of the penthouse.

"Tonight's dinner is your favourite, asshole." _With a side of sleeping pills_ , Akihito smirked and urged the older man to eat.

Asami, despite being a crime lord that's oh-so-intimidating, was completely clueless and had trust that his blonde lover wouldn't do anything to food because.. well.. it's food, afterall.

"It tastes.. a little weird?"

"Drink some wine with it. Maybe it'll taste better." Akihito stood up and poured Asami a glass of red wine.

Asami just hmm-ed and continued to eat. Slowly, he started to feel drowsy and had (surprisingly) fallen asleep with his spoon in his mouth.

Akihito grinned.

* * *

 

Akihito made his way down to Sion with his bags of 'ingredients' after cleaning up and making sure Asami was comfortably in bed.

Akihito walked into Asami's office, pour everything that was in the bags out on the floor and then proceed onto wrapping an air horn with black tape to ensure that it'll be less obvious when zip-tied to Asami's office chair. He then got out ten large zip-ties and secure the air horn to the underside of the large office chair, with a little space between the seat and the air horn.

After that was done, he removed all the pens, staples, and all other stationeries, including the mouse, from the ( ** _THAT IS MAHOGANY_** ) office desk and put them place the items into the different bowls of harden Jello, then he covered the stationery with another layer of Jello and left it in the freezer to set for about an hour of two (he left the mouse and Asami's favourite pen in the freezer because he's a little shit).

He took a look at his prank and grinned so widely you would think he's insane.

* * *

The next morning, Asami was on his way to his office feeling a little confused and a little stupider than yesterday. How did he end up in bed? Wasn't he eating dinner with Akihito?

By the time he got to his office's door, Kirishima was standing in front of the door, all panicked.

"What is wrong, Kirishima?"

The secretary looked as if he was about to pass out.

"N-nothing." He stuttered as he looked between the door and his boss.

"If that is the case, why aren't you letting me into my office?"

Kirishima felt like digging a hole in the ground and to pray he waste his life away there. He would rather die in a ditch than face his boss when he realize his favourite pen is missing.

"Kirishima, let me go through. Now." Whelp, there it is. The _I-am-the-boss-stop-testing-my-patience_ voice.

Kirishima did _not_ scream, it was a very manly yelp before he towards ran the other direction.

Asami walked into his office and the first thing he noticed was.. _Why is everything jello-fied? Must be Akihito._ He thought fondly before noticing that his mouse and pen are missing.

Just then, Suoh burst into the room while holding two bowls. "I found your mouse and your pen, sir!" He yelled.

Asami merely hmm-ed.

"Suoh, get all of this cleared by noon. Any later and I'll cut your pay. Also, get me an extra mouse from the storage," Asami ordered.

He took off his blazer, hung it on the coat racks behind him and took a seat… only to have a loud honk come from the chair. Asami jumped, drew out his gun and shot at the innocent chair as he screeched.

"Asami-sama?! Are you alright?" Kirishima ran into the room, trying hard not to trip over his legs.

"Yeah.. Just.. Get me a new chair."

By noon, Asami was feeling a little frustrated. With the lack of a good and proper mouse, a nice, comfortable chair and his favourite pen, he was this close to shooting someone between the eyes.

It was then his office door opened, a mob of blonde hair came into his line of sight. Akihito grinned, waved at him and said, "take this, asshole!" From behind him, he took out an air freshener, pulled the zip-tie as tight as possible and threw it into the office.

Akihito then slammed the door and ran. You could hear his laughter from all the way downstairs…

Everything happened too fast, and before Asami knew it, he was choking on the thick scent of Jasmine flowers. His worst nightmare. He coughed as he ran, or attempted to, for the door.

"Kirishima! There's a bomb!" He yelled.

"It smells so strongly of Jasmine! I'm gonna die!" What a drama queen Asami is.

Kirishima sighed. Suddenly everything that happened made so much sense, how could he have forgotten that it was war week….

He put on his mask and braved the thickly scented air to on the fans in Asami's office, praying that the scent would go away soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone would like to contribute prank ideas, please feel free to do so.
> 
> Also, I'm awfully sorry for not updating. I honestly have no excuse, please don't harm me.
> 
> (I'm not very good at writing. I hope to improve.)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I do not own any of the characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language, if there are any mistakes, please let me know. [This in an un-beta chapter.]

Akihito could hear his alarm ringing, his eyelids twitched as he slowly slip out of his slumber. Just when he tried to sit up and turn the alarm off, he found himself stuck. He awoke immediately and found himself taped to the bed.

“Better taped than kidnapped.” He mumbled to himself as he struggled to free himself from this sticky mess.

Who would have thought Asami would stoop so slow to tape him to the bed while he was asleep.

The bathroom door opened and Asami stepped out in his bathrobe, drying his hair with a small towel.

“I didn’t know you were this kinky, Akihito.” He smirked as he looked at his struggling lover.

“You did this to me! Get them off me, you asshole!”

Asami chuckled as he put on his –iconic- three-piece suit. “I don’t know, Akihito. You look nice, taped to our bed.”

“Have a great day.” His laughter could be heard from down the hallway.

“You damn bastard!”

* * *

 

It had taken Akihito approximately 2 hours to get out of the sticky mess and by then he was already late for this incredibly important photo shoot.

When he reached the studio, he was immediately ushered to the set where the models were waiting for him. Mitarai was frowning at him, “why the hell were you late? Actually, you know what? Don’t answer me. I don’t want to know.”

 _Rude._ Akihito glared at the back of his colleague’s head and narrowed his eyes.

He then took out his camera, preparing for the shoot when he realized that his precious camera wouldn’t turn on.

 _What did that bastard do to my camera?_ Akihito was fiddling around with his camera and when he pressed the shutter button, water sprayed out from the lens and onto Mitarai.

“Really, Takaba?” He sighed. 

“Just use mine for now.” Akihito gaped at him.

“But my camera! It’s.. It’s fake! That bastard must have switched out all of them!”

“Yes, of course. We don’t have the time for this right now. Get to work. You can sort this out later, Takaba.”

 _Who put Mitarai in charged of this project? Che_. Akihito thought gloomily and he took his position in front of the models, instructing them on the poses.

* * *

“Asami-san? He fell for it.” Mitarai chuckled.

Mitarai was surprised when he first found out about the relationship between Asami Ryuichi and Takaba Akihito. They were worlds apart and yet they were lovers (not that Akihito would admit to that unless drunk, or drugged).

“Hnn. Make sure to give him a hard time.”

The entire crew (including the models) were part of this prank that Asami had set up. The only person oblivious to it was Akihito. I mean, he knew that the war was still going on but he didn’t think that Asami would take it so far (then again, he should have known…).

“Yes, sir.” Mitarai chuckled before the called ended.

“Takaba, retake the photos again. The theme is sexy and charismatic, not dead and soulless!” Mitarai scolded.

The models were having a hard time trying to hold back their laughter while they watch Akihito fight back. 

“What do you mean dead and soulless! I think the pictures came out perfectly!” Akihito crossed his arms. 

“I do think that Jun looks a little bit like a dead fish, though.” One of the models commented. 

Akihito gasped at him. Why is everyone teaming up against him?

* * *

After a long day at work, Akihito was finally (FINALLY) home. Who would have thought that that one photoshoot for AnAn could take the whole day.

Akihito was so ready to relax in the huge bath in the master bathroom. He stripped off his clothes, dumped them into the hamper, turned on the tap (hot, hot water! Banzai!) and set his phone on the edge of the bathtub.

Akihito was swaying his body and dancing to ‘Uptown Funk’, grabbing a comb and performing in front of the huge mirror. Unfortunately (or fortunately), Akihito failed to notice the blinking red dot in the mirror’s reflection.

He stepped into the bathtub, still oblivious to his surrounding, and closed his eyes.

15 minutes later, his alarm rang, signalling that it was time for him to go prepare dinner (even if that bastard doesn’t deserve it). He got out for the bath, rinsed himself and then toweled himself dry, only to find out his hair was blue. Neon blue.

“Asami!” He screamed.

His shade of blonde was not easy to achieve, okay! The amount of bleach and time he was spent on his hair went down the drain.

He was still fuming when he decided he was going to get back at Asami for this. He would pay for this!

* * *

 Okay so, Akihito’s dressed in his nice, comfy sweatpants and tank top and making his way to the kitchen.

 He had actually planned on cooking Asami’s favourite dishes tonight but after the camera stunt and the blue hair? Not a chance. Tonight, he was going to cook his favourite (which Asami hates because “‘I have a figure, thus reputation, to keep.”) and it doesn’t matter what Asami says because right now? Right now, Akihito is still majorly pissed off at his blue hair, even if it suits him.

He opened the refrigerator intending to take out some eggs and mushrooms when something, or someone, honked at him.

Akihito screamed so loud and freaked out so badly, he accidentally hit the person in the face.

“What the hell are you doing sitting inside the refrigerator!” Akihito yelled at Asami.

“In fact, how did you even get yourself into the refrigerator?” Akihito whined.

Asami was dressed in his grey sweater and black sweatpants and sitting inside the refrigerator, holding a honk (the one Akihito used for the chair prank).

“What took you so long? Ah, and nice hair.” Asami smirked at the sight of his lover’s neon blue hair.

“This is all your fault, asshole!” Akihito fumed and kicked Asami’s shins.

“You owe me sushi.” He crossed his arms and stared into Asami’s molten gold (hahaha, I’m so pretentious today) eyes.

Asami scooped him up, and carried him bridal style to the sofa.

“Whatever you say, Akihito. Maybe we could do some ‘uptown funk’ tonight, too.”

“Please, don’t ever make a joke.” Akihito’s eyes widened as he realizes something.

“Were.. were you spying on me in the shower?!”

“Hnn. Maybe. We could bang bang into the room, if you want.”

“SHUT UP, YOU PERVERT!” Akihito decided that he would so not let Asami win this time.

“You’re gonna pay for this!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a filthy liar that doesn't update and I am sorry.
> 
> If anyone would like to contribute prank ideas, please feel free to do so.
> 
> My lame references and jokes. Thank you for putting up with them.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (Many thanks to Amelita for the hair dye suggestion!)
> 
> (The camera prank was Sexyfantasy's idea, so thank you so much, dear!)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the characters nor do I own Finder Series.  
> English is not my native language, if there are any mistakes, please let me know. [This in an un-beta chapter.]

It was 8am.

Akihito was lugging huge bags of ice and an inflatable pool to Sion (with the help of _The Great, Kou-Sama and His Awesomeness, Takato-Sama,_ as they would like to be called). 

Pranking is such hard work. If it wasn’t for this little war they had going on, Akihito would still be in bed with that muscly, overly cuddly human bear (don’t tell Asami that Akihito said that). But here he is, lugging bags of ice and an inflatable pool to Sion.

“Guys, hurry! I need to be back at the penthouse by 10:30am to make that bastard brunch.”

“Geez, Aki! Are you his wife or his lover?” Takato teased him, poking him in the butt with his foot.

“Shut up! He’ll find it suspicious if there isn’t food for him when he wakes, okay!” Akihito grumbled as he continue walking towards Asami’s office.

“Okay, so.. you two will fix the door, I’ll get the pool set up! Chop chop!” Akihito clapped his hands and shoo his two friends.

* * *

“Oi, fatass! Wake up or you’ll be late for work!” Akihito stared down at the sleeping figure.

Said figure just groan. Lift an arm over his eyes before peeking out from under it. Asami let out another groan before grabbing Akihito and pulling him down. Akihito let out a soft ‘oof’ as his body fell on top of Asami.

“Let me go! You need to get up or Kirishima will have my head! Do you not love me? Is that you are willing to let Kirishima kill me?” Akihito gasp and clutch his chest. Without a doubt, Akihito is the biggest drama queen in manga series (second being Feilong).

“I’m not awake enough for this..” Asami groaned and pushed Akihito’s face away. He then stood up and went to the bathroom to get ready.

Once Akihito hears the bathroom door shut, he immediately run to his little office and pressed record.

 _‘_ _I don't wanna be needing your love ~_ _  
I just wanna be deep in your love ~’_

Maroon 5’s Sugar was playing through Akihito’s office.

On the screen shows Asami holding a bottle (Is that my shampoo?! –Akihito) and shaking his very bubbly butt while singing to his imaginary audience.

_Very aesthetic._

Akihito giggled as he screenshot the part when Asami had his arm stretch out and pointing at his imaginary audience. He then printed it out (he printed like 100 copies of it) and replaced Asami’s files with pictures of his bare ass.

He made it just in time to hear Asami come out of the shower.

“Come, Akihito. We are late.” Asami said as he fixed his tie and comb his fingers through his hair.

“We wouldn’t be if you wake up when I told you to!” Akihito hissed and kicked him, leaving a footprint of his shoe on the back of his pants (right at the left butt cheek).

Asami ignored Akihito’s rants and slipped on his shoes.

Ah, I forgot to mention. Apparently Akihito lost a bet to Asami and had to follow him to his office (obviously for vigorous office sex even if Asami doesn’t admit it).

* * *

 “At 2pm, you have a meeting with the Head of Finance. At 5pm, you have another meeting with the China Mafia. Until then, you have files to look through and contracts to sign. Also, Asami-Sama?” Kirishima paused, looking at the butt of his employer.

“Hmm?”

“You have a footprint on your pants.”

“I know.” Asami smirked. “Isn’t it cute?” He laughed and shake his butt a little bit.

Akihito stood behind him with a completely amused face.

They were nearing his office when Akihito put his arm out to stop Kirishima from walking further. He whispered, “I’ve got this…”

Just as Asami near his office door, Akihito took off running down the hall away, towards Asami and gave him a kick, causing Asami to flail and crash into his door. The funny part was his door.. wasn’t his door! Akihito had replaced it with something easier to break and so, Asami went flying into the door, successfully breaking it and splashing into the gigantic inflatable pool that was filled with (melted) ice.

Asami’s shriek could be hear throughout the building as Kirishima and Suoh held back their laughter, faces turning blue.

“Take that, old man!” Akihito laughed as he dust off ‘dirt’ from his nice, tailored-made suit.

Asami spit out water and scrambled to get out of the freezing water.

“H-how did.. w-aht??” A bewildered expression flickered cross Asami’s face.

Akihito giggled. He stepped into the office and retrieve the small camera from the bookshelves that was beside the door.

“That’s for scaring me from inside the refrigerator, asshole!”

“Kirishimaaaaaa!” Asami whined for his secretary.

“Get me dry clothes!”

“O-of course.” Kirishima coughed something that sounds suspiciously like a laughter.

Asami pouted as he made his way to his desk, threw his briefcase onto the table and himself onto the chair. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor.

“Akihito!” Akihito laughed as he continued to take photos of Asami sitting on the ground, soaking wet.

“You’re such a loser right now!” He laughed.

Just when he thought his day couldn’t get worst (thanks to Akihito’s marvellous pranks), he received a call from his mother.

 _‘_ _I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose ~  
Fire away, fire away ~’_

“Bulletproof, but definitely not idiot-proof!”

“Hello?” Asami answered the call, very very unwillingly.

“I heard you’re getting married? Is it to Akihito? You’re not cheating on him, are you? I taught you better than this! And why is there a picture of you dancing around, naked, in my email? Ryuichi!”

“Mom? M-mom! I’m not getting married! I’m not cheating on Akihito and what do you mean a picture of me dancing naked? Mom!” Asami squeal.

He looked up and saw Akihito laughing.

“Mom? I’ll call you back later. I need this teach this brat a lesson.”

Akihito noticed the change in his lover’s tone of voice. He straighten up and was all prepared to run out of the office and all the way to Osaka, if he needs to.

“Akihito, want to explain to me why there are pictures of me dancing naked?”

“H-how would I know? Maybe it was some p-paparazzi!” Akihito stuttered.

“Yeah? Well, you better watch out because I’m not going down like this.” Asami whispered in Akihito’s ear. He placed a kiss there before leaving to change out of his wet clothes.

And honestly? Akihito would be a lot more afraid of his life if Asami wasn’t soaking wet and looking like a wet cat.

 

_(Did I mention? Akihito’s hair is still blue.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating and as you can see, I have completely forgotten how to write and have obviously lost all sense of humor.
> 
> This chapter definitely isn’t as funny as I would like it to be.
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading!
> 
> If anyone have any ideas for pranks, please do share!  
> Thank you again!
> 
> (This fic will end either by the next chapter, or the next, next chapter.)


	7. Omake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any of the characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language, if there are any mistakes, please let me know. [This in an un-beta chapter.]

It was a bright and sunny afternoon, not. No, seriously. It has been raining for days and it's making the atmosphere gloomy. Akihito was stuck at home with no incoming jobs due to the rain. To make matters worst (for Akihito), Asami took time off during this rainy week. Asami claims that because it's raining too much, even the criminal world is taking a break (not in those exact words but you get it).

Akihito stares at his lover from behind his laptop screen. Asami was lounging in front of the television, watching the news in a pair of comfortable sweatpants and collared shirt. The urge to cuddle him is real.

"Don't you have people to kill, drugs to smuggle, a world to dominate?" Akihito snickered at the last part.  _Dominate._

"Not until Monday. Kirishima is taking care of it all as we speak. Besides, why dominate the world when I can easily dominate that piece of ass that you're hiding behind those booty shorts."

Akihito's face flushed a nice scarlet red.

"Shut up, you pervert!"

A chuckle escaped from the crime lord.

"Be a good kitten and grab me a beer."

"Not a kitten!" Akihito grumbles. He might grumble at the pet names his lover gives but that doesn't stop him from doing what he asks. In fact, Akihito is more willing to abide to Asami's wishes and requests if he uses pet names. Why? I don't know. Akihito says it makes him feel more loved and it ignites this flame in his heart (and his dick but that's another story).

Akihito made his way to the kitchen, grabbing the beer and he notice…

"You bastard! Did you eat my cake?!" Akihito stomped his way over to his lover, thrusting the beer into his face.

"What? … No.. I don't like cakes.." Asami denied, looking away. The tips of his ears turning red.

Akihito scoffed. He might be a crime lord and a successful businessman, but that doesn't mean Asami can lie to his lover properly. Add the blushing tips of his ears? Yeah, that man is a walking failure when it comes to lying to his lover. Besides, Akihito knows that it was him. He has had his favourite dessert go missing before only to find the wrapper/box of said dessert in his lover's office trashcan.

"You're an asshole." Akihito whines. He had purposely left that cake in the refrigerator to eat after dinner. Now, it's gone. GONE.

* * *

 The time was now 6pm and since the lovebirds were at home, Akihito decided to cook dinner. Asami was in his office doing what crime lords do best, crimes.

Akihito was in the kitchen (obviously) with Beyoncé playing while he stirs the soup.

" _'Cause if you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it_ __  
_If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it_ _  
__Don't be mad once you see that he want_ _it_ _"_

Akihito held the wooden spoon to his lips and start shaking his butt and dancing to Beyoncé (yeah, he knows the entire dance. Shut up, don't judge). He was so engrossed, so into the dance that he didn't notice his lover standing behind him with his phone up and recording the entire thing down.

" _If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it, oh oh o_ _h"_  Akihito ended with the exact same pose as Beyoncé in her Single Ladies video. And right at that moment, Asami wrapped his arms around his young lover.

"Hmm.. I like it. Maybe I should put a ring on it." He whispered into Akihito's ears, bringing his hand to his lips.

Akihito tensed. "You.. You saw the whole thing?"

"I did. Kirishima said good job with the whole dance. Suoh thinks that it can be further improved."

"Y-you sent it to your goons!?" Akihito yelped. That's it. He's dead. Death by embarrassment. He's going to dig a hole in the ground and die there.

Asami made a noise, planted a kiss by his lover's ear and went back to his office. He only went out to see what was going on because he could hear Akihito singing loudly. And damn, was he glad he ventured out of his office. Seeing that bubble butt shake to Single Ladies was a sight to behold.

Akihito lay down on the floor after Asami had left, all that was going through his mind was  _'why.. my life.. why'._  Cue the invisible puddle of tears.

* * *

 For some reason, after dinner. Asami was completely worn out. He couldn't keep his eyes open which is unusual considering how after dinner, he likes to have a 'work out'.

Asami made his way to the couch and in an instant, he was out like the light.

Akihito peered out from behind the kitchen wall. It was only 8:45pm. He grinned and shook the orange bottle in his hand.  _These sleeping pills are really effective._  He thought as he stared down at his lover.

Akihito took out a black marker and start to draw on Asami's face.

"This is for eating my cake, you bastard!" He mutters while drawing a gigantic penis on Asami's cheek.

"This is for filming me dance to Beyoncé!" Two black circles drawn around Asami's eyes. Akihito decided to give his lover a unibrow.

"And this is for sending it to Kirishima and Suoh!" He hissed as he draws a moustache and colors his nose black.

He was halfway through coloring his lover's nose when someone cleared their throat, causing Akihito to startle and draw a line from Asami's nostril to his eye. Akihito glanced up and found Asami's mother, Asami Noemi.

"Akihito, what are you doing?" Mrs. Asami (I'll refer her as Noemi from now) asks while looking at her son's lover.

"…. Cake.. He ate my cake.. and send a video of my dancing to Kirishima and Suoh…"

Noemi laughs. "You're so silly. You should have used colored markers!"

Akihito flushed. He didn't think of that.

"Come, let us head over to that small café just beside this apartment building. I'll buy you some cakes." Akihito grinned and took her hand.

* * *

 The first time Noemi met Akihito, it was purely a coincident. She was visiting Asami at Sion but because she decided to be adventurous, she took a bus and ended up lost. Akihito was the one that helped her find her way to Sion.

The second time she met Akihito, it was in the middle of  _The War._  Noemi in the penthouse, not knowing that there was someone else there besides her and her son. Akihito had woken up to find all his clothes missing and replaced with frilly lace, crop tops and booty shorts. He let out a scream that scared the daylights of Noemi. Asami was sitting at the head of the dinning table, laughing behind the newspaper when Akihito stomped out wearing a crop top that writes 'Take It Up The Ass'. Akihito immediately stopped when he saw Noemi, he blushed and stutters.

"T-this.. this isn't.. oh my god…"

The third time Noemi met Akihito, it was the official first meeting. Asami had arrange a dinner at a 5-star restaurant to introduce Akihito to his mother. Akihito was at first really reluctant to meet her after what happened the last time but Asami can be very persuasive (if you know what I mean). During the dinner, Asami had explained to his mother about the prank war that she happened to witness the last time and from then on, Noemi and Akihito formed a bond.

Noemi would tell Akihito weaknesses of her son and Akihito would give her updates about his lover's wellbeing.

The bond is still going strong.

(Asami disapproves because his mother told Akihito that he hates carrots so now every time he does something that makes Akihito angry or upset, he would find himself eating nothing but carrots until he manages to make up to Akihito.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a small chapter about how Akihito met Asami's mother, even if this chapter doesn't look that way..
> 
> I will try my best to update as frequent as I can and to find back my sense of humor.
> 
> On another note, thank you to everyone for reading it!
> 
> If anyone have any ideas for pranks, please do share!  
> Thank you again!


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I do not own any of the characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language, if there are any mistakes, please let me know. [This in an un-beta chapter.]

 It was getting… tiring.. to think of pranks to pull on Akihito. He would have done small little pranks like replacing the cream in oreo cookies with toothpaste but that was so last year. Any prank that he can think of have already been used.

_That’s it. This is how my legacy ends. I’m straight outta pranks_. Asami thought bitterly as he leaned back against his office chair and stared up at the ceiling.

“Kirishima, I need inspirations. Get the car.” Asami ordered.

* * *

 

Despite what you think about how crimelords and their underlings would interact, Asami and his minions are more like friends than a boss and his workers.

Suoh sat beside the driver, flipping through various radio channels.

“Ooooh! They’re playing Rihanna!” Suoh, please. Please act your size.

“So like I was saying Saeko (Kirishima’s wife) had a pregnancy scare. She threatened to cut my balls off if she got pregnant again. “ Kirishima sniffled, wiping away an invisible tear.

“She wouldn’t let me touch her until I bought boxes of condoms.” Kirishima sighed. It’s not like he wanted to get her pregnant.. it’s just… _okay, fine_. He wanted enough children to form a soccer team. Obviously his wife thinks otherwise. (“What a spoilsport.” Kirishima would pout while hiding at a corner of the room.)

_‘_ _Want you to make me feel_ _  
Like I'm the only girl in the world_ _~’_

With Suoh singing (screaming) to Rihanna and Kirishima whining about his wife, children and condoms, Asami thought of a prank.

He grinned and cackled evilly.

* * *

 

The birds were outside the window, chirping happily. The sun hung up in the morning sky, peeking through the curtains. The touch of familiar lips against his smooth cheeks had awaken Akihito. He stretched and let out a soft groan. Arms around his waist and his lover’s silky voice whispering into his ears sent shivers down Akihito’s spine. Akihito leaned back against his lover’s chest and sighed.

It was a pleasant morning.

Okay, no. That’s enough pretentious writing for the day. While it is true that Akihito had woken up like that, it was not as pleasant. Akihito felt Asami’s arms circle his waist, he heard his voice and felt his lips against his cheek. But instead of  leaning back against Asami’s chest, Akihito flail so hard, he ended up on the floor.

Asami can only sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose.

“You pervert! What are you trying to do?! Trying to take advantage of young meat early in the morning?” Akihito screeched, kicking his feet in the direction of Asami’s face.

Asami grabbed his ankle and bite him.

“I wish I had the time. But unfortunately, duty calls and you’re late for work.” Asami stood up from the bed.

Akihito glanced at the clock on the nightstand before running to the bathroom. A string of incomprehensible vulgarities and loud noises followed after him.

Asami smirked as he made his way to the kitchen.

* * *

 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” Akihito yelled.

Asami hid his face behind the newspaper he was ‘reading’. His shoulders shook as he laughed silently.

His little lover came stomping out of the bedroom, holding a hair dryer in his hand.

“What did you do!” Akihito whined.

His faced and hair covered with powder. _Coloured_ powder.

Akihito’s blue hair and face was covered with the colours red, purple and pink. He looked like.. a kid with no understanding of how makeup works (and if we’re being honest here, he probably doesn’t have any) or a clown that escaped from the circus.

“Well, don’t you look cute.” Asami laughed.

Asami took out his phone and quickly taking a few shots of his raging lover. (He gets really turn on when Akihito is pissed. I think it might be a feisty.)

Akihito pout at him.

Akihito smirked, walked towards Asami and rubbed his head against Asami’s white dress shirt. The coloured powder from his hair and face now decorating the older man’s clean (and new!) shirt.

“Your ass is going to pay for this.” Asami growled and reached for Akihito.

With Akihito dangling over his shoulder, he made his way back to the bedroom.

Akihito giggled and groped the older man’s butt.

“Squishy squishy!” He giggled.

* * *

 

If you guessed that the both of them ended up not going to work, well.. you’re right. They didn’t. They spent the entire day in bed, going at it like rabbits in heat.

As for this moment, the couple was in the living room. Food, snacks and drinks lay across the coffee table and a horror movie on the big television screen.

Akihito snuggled closer to Asami, wearing only a pair of black briefs and an oversized shirt, he needs all the warmth he can get.

The blonde had already downed three bottles of beer (Exported beer isn’t cheap!) and was feeling rather tipsy.

Obviously Asami had noticed. He smirked.

_Time to play._

“Akihito, I have something really important to tell you.” Asami said, all serious and shit.

Akihito blinked at his lover.

Asami stood up from the couch, retrieved a small rectangle box from his office and tossed it onto Akihito’s lap.

“Wha-”

“Open it.”

So he did. Akihito opened the box, only to find…

“Who’s pregnant?”

Akihito looked up at his older lover, bewildered.

“Me. It’s yours, Akihito. You must take responsibility for it!” Asami cried.

When Asami was in high school, he took up drama for extra credit. He never thought that those acting lessons were going to be useful. Guess he was wrong.

Tears run down his face. His right hand covering his mouth, left on his stomach.

Akihito, still under the influence of alcohol and is unable to think properly, flail.

“Pregnant?! Oh goodness, oh gosh. I’m gonna be a father?! I’m too young to be a father! Oh gosh, oooooooh gosh!” Akihito went into a state of panic, failing to realize his lover filming everything down.

“Okay, okay! I.. I’ll take responsibility for the child! Y-you should marry me! Oh gosh, you’re pregnant!” Akihito started pacing back and forth in the living room, the pregnancy kit still being clutched tightly in his hand.

“Pregnant! You’re pregnant! Preg- …. Hang on..” Akihito stopped, turned to his lover and narrowed his eyes.

“You’ve never let me touch you there…. And… you’re male… Pregnant??” Akihito tilted his head. Thoughts running through his head. How could Asami be pregnant when Akihito has never penetrated him and besides, Asami was a male! How.. That fucker tricked him!

“You fucking bastard!” Akihito glared at Asami and threw the pregnancy stick at his head.

Asami laughed so hard, he cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter would be the last chapter. I’m just trying to figure out how I should go about writing it… hmmm
> 
> If anyone would like to recommend any pranks, please feel free to do so!
> 
> I think’s pretty obvious that my sense of humor is going down the drain but hey, I’m funny okay. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I do not own any of the characters nor do I own Finder Series.
> 
> English is not my native language, if there are any mistakes, please let me know. [This in an un-beta chapter.]
> 
> Author’s Note 2: You might find that this final chapter isn’t what you expect it to be and let me be honest here, I’m actually out of ideas for pranks and I’m not too sure what I’m even writing anymore. Please, don’t leave me hate mail for this. Life is haaaard /sobs
> 
> Author’s Note 3: This chapter contains (minimal amount of) smut, please proceed with caution and read at your own risk.

Akihito couldn’t get the pregnancy prank out of his head. It was such a stupid (yet genius) prank and yet he still fell for it. The last prank left Akihito insecure, how was he going to win _that_? Obviously, he can’t!

He paced around the living room, arms crossed with an unfamiliarly serious look on his face.

“Akihito! Stop pacing around already! You’re going to burn a hole in the floor!” Kou whined from where he was lying on the floor.

“You don’t understand, Kou! I need to win this year or I’m fucked! Both literally and figuratively!” Akihito snapped at his innocent,  blonde haired friend.

“That’s 500% too much information I needed to know about your sex life. Thanks a lot, Aki.” Takato sniffled as he flipped through the magazine in his hand.

“If you can’t win him by pranks, win him by sex?” Kou suggested.

“That’s true, it’s not like you’ve never done it before.” Takato added.

Akihito glared at his friends. He have the worst friends ever. I mean, who would even _suggest_ making Asami admit defeat via sex? And besides, that one time it worked was actually just pure luck. They made a bet and Akihito had permission to tie Asami up (the amount of wet dreams ugh). Akihito had edge the older man to the brink of insanity before Asami had broken down and admit defeat. Too easy, huh? Yeah, turns out someone accidentally gave Asami that drug that gets you really horny which name I can’t remember. Really, Akihito should have known. _Damnit._

Anyway, how was Akihito going to do _that_? He’s definitely going to lose this year and then made a sex slave for like six months (Akihito signed this legal contract. He agreed to it willingly!!) and he have to ‘work’ in Sion for that entire duration.  Life sucks for Akihito but seriously, he should have known better than to play this game with the master crimelord.

“Just help me think of pranks first!” Akihito whined.

“Should I mismatch his entire socks drawer? Oooh, maybe I should get his mother to set him up on a fake omiai? Except maybe, she should set me up for the omiai?”

“You’re not making sense, Akihito. Just swap his whisky or something for like.. I don’t know.. Apple juice? Or feed him carrots everyday and pretend you lost your memories or something.” Takato sighed.

Akihito blinks, a smile slowly stretch across his face, “that might just work!”

* * *

 

With the amount of people who _willingly_ cooperate with this little game of theirs, you would think that it’s either a really big budget event or they have a lot of power (which is true but whatever), from the public to the newspaper to companies and hospitals, they are all willing to help because they know that whoever helped in the lovers’ in their little prank war, would get something in return (unless you’re that guy from the first chapter).

Members of the public would get free drinks from any club under Sion Cooperation, any companies would receive donations and the reputation of said companies would increase.

Needless to say, that was solely the reason why the Tokyo General Hospital was willing to help Akihito in his quest for victory.

“Asami-sama!” Kirishima burst into his boss’s office, clutching his phone tightly in his hand.

Asami looked up from the enormous mountain of files. He had a pocky in his mouth, a pen in his hand and a hairband to push his hair back from obstructing his view. The look he gave Kirishima was priceless, it was a look that children would give their parents when they got caught stealing from the cookie jar.

(Yes, he stole Akihito’s pocky. Don’t tell!)

“Sir, the hospital called. Takaba-sama got into an accident and they insist that you head over to Tokyo General Hospital immediately!”

Asami was on his feet immediately after hearing Akihito’s name and yanked the hairband out of his hair.

“Was Akihito alone? Where were his guards?!”

“His guards lost him after Takaba-Sama ran out of his friend’s house in a hurry.”

The look on Asami’s face darkened as he barked for the driver to drive faster, who _fucking cares_ if you’re going over the speed limit!

* * *

 

“Doctor, how is Akihito?!” Once Asami received information about which room and who was the doctor in charged of Akihito, he immediately made his way to his lover’s room.

Of course, Akihito’s ward was a private one. The young man lay still on the bed with a heart monitor hooked up to him, an IV drip (which wasn’t actually dripping) and a bandage wrapped around his head.

The doctor stood by the end of the bed with a medical clipboard* in his hand.

“Asami-Sama, Takaba-san has a mild concussion, but besides that, he is completely fine. We would like to have him stay overnight for observation, though.”

“A’mi, whachu doin’ her’.” Slurred Akihito from his bed. He flail an arm around as he tries to keep himself awake.

Asami raised an eyebrow.

“Slurred speech and extreme drowsiness happen when the patient have a concussion, Asami-Sama.” The doctor spoke as though he was reading off a book or a script.

“You will be able to bring him after tomorrow afternoon, sir.”

Akihito gave his lover a droopy grin, his head rolling to the side and off to dreamland he goes.

You might be thinking, how did Akihito pull off this concussion act? It’s really simple. After Akihito had ran out of his friend’s house like a bat out of hell, he swiftly made his way to the hospital and asked for a doctor, any doctor!

Once he got a doctor, he asked for a private ward (Asami’s a rich bastard, he can totally afford it). He then asked for a heart monitor, an IV drip and bandages to be wrapped around his head. He gave the nurses at the front desk and the doctor a quick run down about his prank. They gave him some damn good drugs (it’s just really strong sleeping pills but _whatever_ ) so he would be barely awake and would be able to slur his words like an idiot. So simple, I’m such a genius for thinking up this plan. Damn girl, you good.

Anyway, back to Akihito’s prank.

It did not cross Asami’s mind that it was a prank, he thought the accident was a real thing and he was prepared to sue the pants off of the driver that caused his young lover a concussion. He had men working to find out who caused the accident and a team of lawyers drawing up papers.

When Akihito was brought back to the penthouse, Asami treated him as if he was made of glass.

“Stop, Asami! I’m not made of glass and besides, I’m already healed from the injury!” Akihito snapped for the nth time the same day he was released from the hospital.

Asami pulled his hand back as if he got burnt by fire.

Eyes wide, he looked at the younger man and said “I’m just worried!”

_That_ pulled on the heartstrings of every women in the world and Akihito’s but the blonde’s resolve to win this war was stronger.

“I know you are but jfc I’m fine now!”

* * *

 

The next few meals prepared by Akihito was…. Weird.

Asami stared at the dishes spread across the dinning table. The food looks fine and it smells great but Asami couldn’t help the shiver that went down his spine.

_What can be so bad that_ **I’m** _getting shivers?_ Asami mused. He picked up his chopsticks, picked up a piece of meat and plopped it into his mouth.

The chopsticks clang against the wooden table (it’s mahogany!).

Akihito looked up at his lover from his bowl and smiled, “it looks like curry, doesn’t it?”

Asami gasp and stared so hard at that dish that betrayed him.

“C-carrots…”

Akihito smirked, inwardly.

* * *

 

Asami was going crazy. He hates carrots and Akihito knows it! But.. But why was his lover cooking carrots with _everything_ for the past three meals?! He wanted to drink orange juice but apparently, Akihito changed it to carrot!

He was _this_ close to screaming his head off. Asami decided that he was going to confront his lover. Concussion be damned!

“Akihito, are you okay?”

Akihito gave the older man an odd look.

“I am. What’s up?”

“Here’s the thing, Akihito. I don’t think you’re okay! I think you’re suffering from memory loss! It must be that concussion. You know I hate carrots but that’s all that we’ve been eating for the past three meals. Are you really okay?”

It was rare to hear Asami say so much at once. While it might be a little bit overwhelming, it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. In fact, it’s nice to know how much the older man cares.

“Y-you mean you don’t like my cooking?” Akihito’s teary eyes made Asami panic.

He might not show it, but he’s a complete loser when it comes to Akihito’s tears.

“I don’t mean that. I’m just saying that you might be suffer from memory loss.”

“Maybe I should call my personal doctor. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that doctor from the hospital.”

Asami was just about to press the call button when he hears Akihito chuckling softly.

“Asami? What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?”

“Huh?”

“A Carrot.” Akihito laughed and fling himself towards the older man.

It was only then that it dawned on Asami that it was a prank. It now made sense as to why his men wasn’t able to find out who caused the accident.

Did you think that was the end? Nope, it’s not. Akihito still had one more trick up his sleeves that would guarantee his victory.

 Asami might be traumatised from all the carrots but his sex drive is still going strong. Hence, Akihito's final trick to victory is going to revolve around that. 

Now, Akihito is still unsure as to how to go about this plan (meaning I have no idea what I'm writing but yeaaaah) but he does have his little costume and all the 'equipments' that he needs all ready to go. All that's needed left was a plan.. Maybe he could pretend to hire Asami a stripper? No, that wouldn't work considering how Asami is a huge douchebag so he would either accept the stripper but then again, Asami is in committed relationship with Akihito (it's true no matter how much either party tries to deny it).

Maybe he should approach Kirishima and ask for ideas.. Kirishima should know how to get Asami in a vulnerable state, right? Right, of course. But to approach Kirishima for such things is embarrassing.

Damnit, life is so difficult when you have a huge pervert as your lover. 

Akihito really needs to win this round and he needs to do it by tonight. Asami was going to come home by 10pm and then he has a day off the next day. It was already 5pm and he is still plan-less!

Maybe... Just maybe... He should play the dominating role tonight...

Akihito grinned. 

* * *

 

We’re just going to skip the parts where for example; Asami comes home from work, Asami takes a shower, the couple have a late dinner. You know, the mundane stuff.

Asami was lying in bed, a book in his hand (he’s reading Harry Potter) and his private reading glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.  Akihito has been in the shower for almost half an hour now. Just what could he be doing in that bathroom?

Akihito gazed at his reflection as he slipped his arms into a bathrobe and tied the belt.

_Let’s do this, Akihito! You can do this!_ Akihito silently cheered himself on, fist clenched and a soft ‘fight-o’ echoed through the huge, empty bathroom.  

When the bathroom door opened, Asami had paid no attention to it. It’s just as Akihito had expected. Asami was so used to the usual routine, he wouldn’t see what’s able to come next.

Akihito quietly slink his way towards the large bed. His toys were hidden out of sight, under the bed. He removed his bathrobe, revealing the lace-top stockings with matching panties and garter belt that Akihito had donned on.

He straddled Asami’s lap, toss the book behind him and pinned his arms at the side of Asami’s head. The older man looked up in surprised, surprised that his lover actually did that. I mean, Akihito was rather shy when it comes to anything that has to do with…. _This_

“This is surprising.” Asami remarked. His hands coming down to rest on Akihito’s hips.

Akihito smiled and gave the man a quick peck on the lips.

“Since you showed me so much concern when I was ‘recovering from a concussion’, I figured that maybe I should show you how much I appreciate it.”

Oh, Akihito. You filthy, _filthy_ liar.

Akihito’s lips brushed over Asami’s, their lips just barely even touching, before Akihito jerks away, his hard cock pressed against the lace of his panties when Asami’s large hand left a stinging sensation on his butt cheeks.

Akihito breathes out a soft moan.

Asami sucks on the boy’s shoulder, biting the mark he left behind.  His fingers sliding under the lace, pressing against his hole.

_This wasn’t suppose to happen. This is not the plan!_ Akihito’s thoughts were hazy from the pleasure he was receiving from his lover. _This might not be the plan, but honestly? Who cares._ Maybe when Akihito finally achieve five orgasms and has stop moaning and whining for more, he would realize his mistake.

Akihito moaned.

“P-please. Need you.” Akihito was cradled against Asami’s chest. The older man was still playing with his lover’s  quivering, needy hole while his dick rest against Akihito’s butt cheeks.

“Beg, Akihito. Tell me how badly you want it.” Asami’s hot breath against his skin made him want to cry and cum but the stimulation just wasn’t enough.

“Please,” Akihito sobbed against the older man’s shoulder, “want you inside. Please, please, please.”

The older man refused to give the boy what he wants. He continued to tease him. He had one hand on Akihito’s butt, and the other playing with his twitching hole, circling it, teasing it, fingering it.

“What are you willing to give in return, kitten? Your defeat?” Akihito could _feel_ the smirk, he heard every single word clearly but the boy was on the brink of insanity to even think clearly.

“Will you admit defeat, my dear?”

“Yes! Yes! Please, anything! Please! Want you inside me now. Now, please!” Akihito babbled.

And thus, this was how Akihito lost the Prank War 2015 and would be made into Asami’s obedient sex kitten for the next six months.

 

 

Somewhere out there in Tokyo, Shinjuku, Kirishima breathe a sigh of relief at the end of the war. _That_ **totally** _lasted more than a week. Suoh owes me $50._

 

 

 

_Hey guys? Do you know why Santa Claus’ sack is so big?_

_Because he only comes once a year._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of ‘Victory is Mine!’ and I’m pretty damn sure that’s not how you were expecting the story to end because trust me, I did not foresee it ending this way either. This chapter pretty much had nothing to do with pranks, to be very honest.
> 
> Please understand that my first time (in years) writing a smut scene, hence, the quality of it. I knoooow, it sucks! 
> 
> Anyway, I would like to thank all my readers for tolerating my nonsense for 9 whole chapters! Thank you all very much, all of your comments have been really kind and it means so much to me that you just enjoy the story! Thank you! Thank you! 
> 
> If anyone is interested in sending me prompts, you can find me on tumblr  
> [here](http://obrienmess.tumblr.com)
> 
> -LittleRedFlowers


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